Baby Wake

So I was 40 weeks and five days when I went in to be induced with Wake. I had been dilated to a one since 38 weeks and hadn't progressed any further since that time so an induction was definitely needed. I got to the hospital at 7 pm on February 26th. The first thing they did was start my IV which I was SO afraid of (just because I put them in people doesn't mean they don't scare the crap out of me to get them). Anyway, I have awesome veins but it took them three tries to get it in and since it was an 18 gauge it almost killed me. After that they started me on Cervidil and said that the next step was just to wait until I started contracting and dilating. I didn't feel anything until about 3 am and the contractions started hurting me enough that I requested Statol (a narcotic) which was the only pain medication they said I could have (I am anti pain meds so I was hurting pretty bad at this point). She gave me 1mg and I was finally able to fall asleep but when my contractions came around again they were waking me up from my sleep so I requested the second milligram she originally offered me. That was a big mistake/best thing I ever did. The first milligram just made me super drowsy which was good but the second milligram pushed me over the edge and I had an adverse reaction. I could still feel the pain of the contraction but the Statol made me feel like what I can only imagine being drunk feels like but I was still in pain. So I was completely out of it, but still in pain and feeling so impaired that it scared me. Nate videoed me when I was out of it and I have to admit that it was pretty hilarious. I apparently get a British accent when I'm drugged but even though it was funny to watch I hated the feeling and, like I said, I remember being legitimately scared when I was out of it. Anyway, once the Statol finally wore off I was still in pain and since they weren't going to give me anymore narcotics because of how I reacted to it they decided to start my epidural even though they usually wait until people are dilated to a 5 to get it and I was a 2. That's why I say that getting Statol was the best/worst thing I ever did because even though it sucked it made me get my epidural sooner. The epidural really didn't hurt at all and after the eventful night I didn't even have the energy to be scared about it. The ONLY thing that sucked about the epidural was that they made me bend over to get it (obviously) and it's already hard enough to bend over when you're pregnant but add the pain of contractions while you're uncomfortably bending over and it makes for a rough time but it was quick and WELL worth it. I immediately went numb on both sides and I stayed numb without having to be re-dosed until after I had delivered which was awesome. I LOVED being numb. I was finally able to sleep and I didn't have to feel the catheter being put in or getting checked which, I might add, was the absolute worst pain I ad ever felt (worse than contractions). The doctor actually made me cry when she checked me before I had the epidural in so she promised I wouldn't get checked again until after I had, had it in (thank goodness). So it was smooth sailing after that other than the fact that I couldn't eat or drink anything. I, shockingly, did really good with the whole fasting thing for 24 hours and after that 24 hour mark hit I literally thought I would die of thirst and hunger. I had eaten tons of popcicles and even cheated by drinking a little water but seriously, I was done. At that point I didn't think labor would kill me but the starvation. Anyway, I got through it and was FINALLY dilated to a 10 at 1 am on Saturday, March 7th. It took me so long to dilate the doctor said that I almost had to have a c-section (I think everyone ALMOST had to have a c-section haha) but she did scare me for a little bit so I'm glad that I kicked it in gear soon enough to avoid that. Anyway, when they said it was time to get ready to push I, of course, freaked. I had been so worried about this huge life change for such a long time, even before I was pregnant. I DON'T do well with change so I was scared out of my mind. I was shaking uncontrollably and I felt bad that I wasn't very excited for this big moment because I was so afraid of how it would change my life and how much responsibility I would have to keep this baby alive. Anyway, Nate is always good to talk me through things and my friend Lindsay Whiting came because she wanted to take pictures of us during the delivery and she made me feel a lot better too since she had, had a baby recently too. It was nice to have her there since my mom and sisters weren't there to calm me down like they usually do. But I ended up pushing for about an hour and a half and I actually enjoyed that. It was exciting to hear that they could see hair and, honestly, it was a good workout haha. It was also SO nice to be numb so that I could just enjoy the moment pain free. As soon as he came out I felt nothing but extremely happy. It truly felt like Christmas morning and any fear I had immediately left. I thought that I would at least have to fight back tears when I saw him (I knew I wouldn't cry because I'm a little anti showing emotion) but I at least thought I would be fighting the tears back. Wrong. I was, like I said, just stoked about the whole experience and so happy that he was healthy, had hair, and was so cute. I can totally see how people get addicted to having babies because that was, by far, the coolest thing I've ever done in my life. Totally worth the gruesome 9 months and body destruction (that means a lot coming from me). Nate said that he had to fight back the tears when he saw him which I thought was crazy because the only time I had ever seen Nate cry was when he lost out of state basketball his senior year haha but apparently our son's birth was a close second to that in the emotion category lol. Like every new mom I was addicted to looking at him and was on cloud 9 but the exhaustion soon kicked in after they kept us in the hospital for two and a half days AFTER I had delivered. That was a HUGE mistake to stay that long. We were woken up like every hour by the staff and the rest of the time I was trying to get Wake to eat. He was a good eater from the beginning but it took a lot of time and energy to keep him awake long enough to eat. Nate and I were so exhausted that we didn't even have the energy to even think about trying to leave the hospital early so we were off to a bad start with a newborn. When we finally did get discharged Monday afternoon we were so ecstatic to be in our own space again and try to figure this little dude out. I felt bad for Nate at the hospital because he basically went hungry and had to sleep on this tiny, hard cushion so I cannot express enough how good it felt to be home. The first few nights at home were rough too though. I admit that I bawled every night for the first three night because I was so sleep deprived and overwhelmed. The worst night was the first when I was not only exhausted but I was worried about him not getting enough food and my stitches hurt so much that I thought that I had ripped them out and I literally couldn't hold him while sitting down and standing up from the couch which was, obviously, a huge problem because I had to do both to feed him. Anyway, I saw lactation the next day and she said he was acting weird about eating because my milk was coming in and he couldn't latch on like he used to because of the change so she told me to press down around the area in a window-shaped fashion right before I fed him and that helped a ton to reduce he firmness so that he could latch on. She also showed me how to look for his chin making deep dips when he ate so I could tell when he actually swallowed something versus when he was just sucking and that helped a ton too to put my mind at ease so that I knew he was actually swallowing. I also got my stitches checked that day and they ended up being fine so just for my own future reference, they just hurt that bad and it doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong haha. ANYWAY, we are learning everyday and it has definitely gotten easier but we still have a long ways to go learning-wise lol. Here are some pictures from his birth...

Me mentally preparing for this and making sure to close my eyes to keep from being more freaked out.

Nate giving me the, "Stop being so dramatic" face that I'm usually giving him haha.

Wondering what I had gotten into...

Them putting Wake on me for the first time and me being somewhat annoyed because I told them beforehand to clean him off before they gave them to me haha.

Favorite picture...He ended up being 8.2 lbs and 21.5 inches long.

Major cone head.

So freaking pleased with life...

Love swollen babies...

Also so pleased...

I don't know why but I LOVE this picture because when I think of what Wake looked like the first time I saw him, this is the face I think of. Captured perfectly.

Officially a family of three...